Carl Brown Love Advice
 
Dear Doctor of Love,
 
What does it mean when your boyfriend accidentally calls you “Mom”? I’m not sure whether to be flattered or worried. Please advise.

Debra
 
PREFATORY REMARK: In my last Advice to Highlands Lovers column, I addressed a question on love from a friend like-challenged with the blessing-curse of manic-depression. Inter alia, I suggested she attend our support group, Louisville Depressive-Bipolar Support Alliance, which meets every Tuesday evening (see page 12 for details). As one reader noted, there is also a need for medicinal compliance. Further, manic-depressives should exercise, socialize and eat well. ‘Nuff said.
 
Dear Debra:

I get some of the damnedest questions. Thanks for keeping my life interesting.

I’ve pondered an answer to your query and, indeed, have polled many female friends on the matter. Frankly, these ladies screwed up their pretty little faces and said YEEKKKK! They said to be worried – not flattered – that your boyfriend called you “Mom.”

Now, let’s go a bit further into this.  There are many maternal names a man may choose to address his lady.  In the presence of her children, I have called a lady friend “Mom” in the context of “Mom, take care of these kids ...”

Mother? Well, Hitler never called Germany the Fatherland. He called it the Motherland, and we know how well adjusted he was. He also called Frauleins “little mother.” That’s all I need to say about that.

Mommy? Too sick to dwell upon ... unless she calls you “Daddy” and that’s when things turn weird, fast.

Old Lady? I have a friend totally obsessed with the onslaught of age who nevertheless saw “old lady” as a compliment of highest regard. Especially if you ride a Harley.

Now, one special European friend who insists on seeing the glass as two-thirds full remarked maybe your boyfriend was telling you he wanted you to be the mom of his unborn kids. Who knows, a proposal may follow.

The bigger tent under which this question falls is named Forgiveness. Jesus Christ said we should forgive our ENEMIES. How much therefore should we forgive our friends for accidentally, maybe absent mindedly, slipping on Freud.  There certainly was no malice intended unless, say, he killed his mom and you were next.

The hallmark of a good, solid relationship is good humor. Start calling him “Dad” all the time, especially in front of his friends and family. Have fun with it. Don’t obsess on it. Take this sage advice and forgive, if indeed his faux pas rises to this level.

And rub his nose into it long after you’ve both retired in each others’ arms listening from your beach house to the soothing roar of the ocean.

When you’re 70, Debra, you won’t mind what he calls you as long as you don’t call him late for shuffleboard.

Until next time, The Doctor of Love asks but this: Love the Highlands and love each other.

All we need is love.
 
Carl

Carl Brown lives at an undisclosed location in the Original Highlands. E-mail him with your questions at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .