According to an ancient Mayan prophecy set in stone, the world may end Dec. 21, 2012. Cataclysmic or transformative, we’re not sure, and we tend not to care.
Eschatology, or the study of End Times, is a hot topic. The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as “The department of theological science concerned with the four last things: death, judgment, heaven and hell.”
Scholars, evangelicals and other cultish leaders have predicted The End for years, and with the stunning accuracy of an Ohio Valley meteorologist.
Let’s say it’s true. I wondered what people might want to accomplish as they pencil in Doomsday. So I asked a few Louisvillians to list some of their final deeds or dreams.
It’s only fair to start with the only Mayan I know, Bruce Ucan, a native of Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula, and proprietor of the Mayan Cafe, where “End of the World” menus are available through December, or at least most of it.
Bruce’s list is short: “Go to Europe, definitely Italy, with my wife, Christina, and take Coca-Cola out of the restaurant by January 2013.”
Musician Amos Hopkins states, “If the Mayan calendar is right, then we should definitely make a yearbook for the human race and stick it in a large box for future species that might need some entertaining reading material.”
Louisville Improvisor Chris Anger produced a
thrifty itemized do-list:
1. Cancel paper.
2. Floss.
3. Finish reading “The Road Less Traveled.”
4. Erase hard drive.
5. Return BOWFLEX machine.
6. (If time) Change underwear
Fairness Director Chris Hartman states, “I think we, at the Fairness Campaign, are perfectly on track to fully dismantle systemic racism and homophobia in our community and America before that apocalyptic day. Actually, we believe that accomplishing a fair, equitable and just earth will actually delay in perpetuity the world’s end. Fairness on!”
Courtney Sandora of Go Social narrows it down to three goals: “To have a beer at Apocalypse brewing company, run the bases at Louisville Slugger Field, and kiss my twin baby boys until they can’t stand it any longer.”
Reverend Derek Penwell of Douglass Boulevard Christian Church shared his concern and a hope: “I’d like to see, if only briefly, a friend of mine receive the medical care he needs but hasn’t been able to get because of pre-existing conditions. I’d like to see the daughter of another friend of mine finally get to marry the woman she loves. As much as anything, I’d like to see the smiles that come from no longer being hungry on the faces of the children on those late-night commercials – the kids it only takes ‘pennies a day’ to feed.”
Me? I’m with Congressman John Yarmuth and would like to see Mitch McConnell’s senate reign come to an end. Carpe Diem, indeed, or at least, seize the seat!
Meanwhile, as the Earth continues to dodge asteroids and predictions, let’s celebrate the fact that we get through the end of each day, much less the end of all time.
Cindy Lamb’s vocations of journalism, child birth and child care keep the lights on and the stories flowing. Contact her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .